I Heart You All

I apologize for appearing to have committed blogicide.  I miss you all bunches.

Like all of you, life is busy.  The kids are good, it’s all football and One Direction and driver’s ed.  Love life is fucking screwed as per the norm but that’s nothing new for me, right?  I start classes in September so I will eventually be able to function like a grown up and get a real job.  Yay me.

Between the stalker from hell and myriad other issues that have come up I’ve lost my fire for writing.  As you know, I’ve been struggling to pull myself out of this sad little rut for a long time now but the rut seems to be slathered in Crisco and I can’t seem to to get my footing.  You all have been great about trying to throw me a rope but apparently my upper body strength just ain’t what it used to be and I can’t seem to hang on for too long.

I love and adore you all.  You gave me a fantastic welcome with my first blog (Mancakes… the Blog) and I was devastated when I had to walk away from it.  I missed the writing but mostly I missed all of you.  Lots of you found me again here and I was so excited that you did…connecting with you all is one of the best experiences I have ever had… you make me laugh, you make me think, you make me mad, and (Don of All Trades) you gross me out sometimes, too.

And I miss all of you right now as I clack away on this with huge tears in my eyes, but honestly I need to walk away once again to try and focus my mind and my effort on getting my real life feet under me for the first time in far too long.  It’s been a really bad year, to say the least, and we have four more months to go.  Sweet baby Jesus, hang on kids.

Bottom line is that my heart just isn’t in it anymore.  Too many people have stolen my thunder, swept the wind from my sails, yanked the rug out from underneath me…and I’m tired.  Every day I feel guilty that I haven’t written, that I haven’t read, that I haven’t commented…

Know that all of you, every last stinkin’ one of you, mean the fucking world to me.  You have inspired me to push myself down this next scary motherfucking road and I love you for it.  Maybe if life ever begins to make any sense again, I’ll be back but until then keep writing and keep being awesome, because you just may ignite something in another person who needs your spark to jump into the next chapter of their story like you did me.

While every single one of you is perfection on fucking legs, I need to send special lovin’ to Don of all Trades, Eric at Clown on Fire, Megan at Cowboys and Crossbones, Viv at Vivienne’s Process of Elimination, Kansas at Fat Bottom Girl, Farouk at Live Until,  Kevin Brennan at What the Hell, and Tric at My Thoughts on a Page.  You all make the world a better place in your own unique ways and I love you for it.

So that’s that for now.  Stay in touch via the email addy below… I’ll leave this blog up for a week or so and then I’m going to delete the account entirely so do drop me a line from time to time, okay?

Know that I appreciate all that you are and all that you do.  You didn’t just write in pixels on WordPress, you wrote on my heart …and you used permanent ink.

XOXO,

Cordelia

cordeliasguide@gmail.com